Monday, September 26, 2011

easy for you to say

It started as a case of mistaken identity and turned into so much more.  For the first time in my life I can't shake it.  Nothing seems to help.  Music, movies, family and friend's advice.  People say things everyday and I appreciate it, but their advice is falling on deaf ears.  Can you ever really prepare to feel this way?  I realized that this was going to be hard, but never imagined it would consume me so much.  There have been moments of clarity and hope.  And there is certainly a bright spot on the horizon.  But other wise it has been mostly heartache.  I worked out for the first time yesterday and that felt great.  Routine is needed.  Things are good right now and I should be grateful, however, this has become such a huge part of my life.  I think today I realized for the first time that when something like this happens you have to just keep going, keep waking up each morning, keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep watching the seconds tick by on the clock.  Each moment will make it that much better.   My mind is trying to move forward, but my heart will never let it forget....I pray for her happiness and I patiently wait for mine.

All my life, my heart has yearned for a something I cannot name.  I am ready to give that something a name...

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